


Comfort Zones Aren't Always The Enemy

by gregorianHaus



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: F/M, Oral Sex, Vaginal Sex, milf more like gilf lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-09-15 02:39:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16924977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gregorianHaus/pseuds/gregorianHaus
Summary: That Bitch™: I feel like Tim woulda smashed Gertrude if she were aliveM҉: GOD WHAT A SHIPThat Bitch™: Or he woulda triedHDJSKSIM SO SERIOUS I REALLY DO THINK HE'D SEE HER AND GO "milf"You did this, Kai. This is on your conscience.





	Comfort Zones Aren't Always The Enemy

Tim is a highly selective man.

His overall demeanor and decades of bisexual stereotyping may lead most of the general public to think otherwise, but he has standards, damnit. 

Which is why, looking at the newly resurrected Gertrude Robinson, he was confused. 

She didn’t fit into his usual ‘type’ whatsoever. She seemed to take herself far too seriously, carrying herself with an air of authority supported by her forceful but apathetic tone, and, far more importantly, she was obviously decades older than him. The mere idea of anything romantic with her was far out of his comfort zone.

But, looking over her stiff posture and wiry frame, Tim was struck with an unbidden and spontaneous thought.

“I’m going to bang that old lady.”

\---

After the entire gang had returned to the archives, Tim spent several hours pretending to work whilst actually collecting his nerves (read as: drinking), and then another half hour actually seeking Gertrude out.

When he finally found her, on the verge of giving up and going home with naught but his own right hand, she was sitting in Jon’s office with files splayed out all over the desk and and floor.

She appeared to be organising them, though, from what he’d heard from Jon’s sleep deprived rumblings, ‘organising’ was certainly a relative term in her case.

She looked up over the mess of documents laid across the room and peered at him through her wire rimmed glasses.

“Timothy, may i help you with something?”

“I don’t think I’m the one who needs help.” He blurted, momentarily forgetting his reasoning for even being here. Damn his incredible quick-wittedness exclusively for snide comments and insulting his coworkers!

Gertrude sharply inhaled through her nose and tilted her head to say something that Tim, preoccupied by a strand of her not-so-healthy-looking grey hair falling onto her cardigan clad shoulder, missed.

She seemed to notice his inattentiveness and repeated herself, louder.

“Timothy, I am quite busy at the moment and as much as I’d like to make your acquaintance and discuss who truly needs assistance I am somewhat preoccupied.” She said gesturing to the paper amalgamate in front of her.

Tim, snapping back to reality and realising that he was quickly losing his chance to ‘shoot his shot’ eloquently blurted, 

“Would you like to go for a drink with me?”

For a second, Gertrude actually looked surprised, and although he hadn’t known her long -approximately 4 hours at this point- she didn’t seem the type to be easily taken aback. 

He stood in the doorway and waited for the inevitable rejection, wondering if it was possible to completely avoid someone bound to the same few hundred square metre institution for the rest of his life.

“...alright.”

Well that was unexpected.

“A-… alright.”

He stood in the doorway, unsure where to go from here, having not even thought he’d make it this far.

“You can leave now Timothy.”

He paused, stepped back, letting the door fall closed and then stood for a moment, contemplating what his life had become.

\---

“Timothy?”

Tim roused from his desk, saliva glueing the parchment he was resting on to his cheek. 

Seriously, parchment? He couldn’t wait to one day find the statement of a traumatised caveman who had accidentally summoned a hostile creature of light from bashing two rocks together.

He heard a soft croaky chuckle and looked up to see Gertrude, looking down at him with a sort of dull amusement.

He ripped the parchment from his cheek and cleared his throat, steeling himself for what was to come. Or who, if this went the way he envisioned.

He extended an arm to Gertrude, who had returned to her usual look of simultaneous apathy and judgement. She looked at it for a moment, appearing as if she was questioning her own life decisions, and tentatively curled a hand around his forearm.

“Shall we?”, he asked, attempting one of his “charming enough to make you share police files” grins.

“Indeed we shall.”

And off they went.

\---

One thing Tim quickly noticed about Gertrude is that she didn’t really let her hair down.  
She had a natural air of maturity that was unaffected by the gross amounts of alcohol she consumed and Tim’s increasingly sloppy coercion (affected by the gross amounts of alcohol he consumed in an attempt to keep up).

During their surprisingly long-lasting stay at the pub, Tim realised that he would probably have to get things moving, lest he stop moving altogether from alcohol poisoning. 

“Gertrude?”

“Yes, Timothy?”

“Its- whatever- do you want to get out of here?”

“And where do you suggest we go?” She said it in her usual monotone but with a slight lilt as to suggest she was teasing him.

“Well, uhh... back to mine, I suppose?”

“I’d be honored to walk you home, Timothy.”

Okay, that was not his intention. Also he really had to tell her to stop calling him ‘Timothy’.

“Uhh, I didn’t quite mean-” 

She gave him a withering look.

“Alright! Let’s go!”

\---

Nearing his apartment Tim began to feel an acute sense of dread.

What if Gertrude just left? Or she saw his shoddy downtown apartment and decided he wasn’t worth her time? This was the first time he’d be with someone who seemed so ...above everything, and the possibilities were making him nervous.

They finally got to his door and he stopped, wiping his sweaty hands on his jeans. Preparing for rejection, he turned to face her.

“Well, this is me.”

“Indeed.”

There was a beat. Tim’s palms were soaked once again. 

Gertrude looked strangely ethereal in this light. Her grey hair and gaunt face backlight by dim hallway light.

“So do you want to-”

Gertrude sighed and leaned forward, pressing her lips to his gently in a quick peck.  
She leaned back and looked him dead in the eyes.

“Unlock the door.”

“Yes, ma'am!”

He turned, and fumbled with the lock, forgetting his earlier worries about his less than on-trend apartment in his excitement.

Just as he got the door open, Gertrude stepped into his space, moving her arms around him from behind and pressing her body to his back.

She guided him forward into his apartment and began to kiss up the crook of his shoulder. The door swang backwards, an afterthought, as they moved to the couch and Tim flipped Gertrude gently, unsure of how rough to be with someone her, umm, level of maturity.

Gertrude grabbed his shoulders as she sank down onto the couch, once again meeting his lips with hers.

Tim met her with passion, lapping at her mouth and running his hand down her sides as she gently tugged and played with his hair.

He began to buck down, rubbing their crotches together and she turned her head to the side breathing a soft, “Timothy.” against his ear. It pained him, but he pulled back.

“I think you can call me Tim at this point, Gertrude.” 

She laughed and bucked into him.

“I think I can call you anything I want.”

He frantically searched through his pockets and ripped open the condom wrapper he found, as Gertrude took it upon herself to palm the front of his jeans.

She undressed herself awkwardly beneath him as he took of his clothes and exposed his hard cock to the cold air.

He moved to slide the condom onto himself, but Gertrude pushed his hands away, grabbing his dripping cock with her thin, cold hand.

He quickly forgot his momentary concern at how bad her circulation must be when she began to stroke him up and down, rolling her wrist with the movement.

After a few moments, she grabbed the condom from his hand and eased it down over his sensitive head down to his shaft.

She lay back and he pressed against her again, mouthing against her neck as he aligned himself and slid into her.

Maybe it was ageist, but Tim didn't expect her to be so wet and oh so fucking tight. He thrust fully into her as she buried her hands in his hair again and wrapped her legs around him.

She met his thrusts with her own, his breath quickened and he pressed into her, again and again and again.

Getrude ran her hands up and down his body as he fucked her, lapping at his chest and tugging at his hair, the tugs to his sensitive scalp making him feel electricity all the way down to his crotch.

He moaned and started thrusting harder and faster, kissing at her beautifully mature body and trying to muffle his moans in her skin.

She guided him up to her lips with a hand in his hair and his nerves sang as they bucked against one another, feeling her tongue against his.

She pulled his head back and he felt pleasure building inside of him, fucking her until he finally exploded deep inside her, buzzing from head to toe and collapsed. 

Tim pulled back and slid out of her, breathing heavily. He looked up and gazed at her gorgeous flushed face, finally looking less than composed.

He was drawn from his post-orgasm stuper when he suddenly realised that he hadn’t exactly returned the favor. He was tired, but his mother raised him with manners, goddamnit - and perhaps now wasn’t the greatest time to be thinking of his mother- so he had an orgasm to deliver.

Gertrude had leaned back, prepared for an unsatisfying end to this entire ordeal when Tim sat up suddenly, and made his way down her body stopping at his crotch. Perhaps this hadn’t been a mistake after all.

She was already very wet, so Tim slid a finger inside her, then back up to her clit. He rubbed in gentle, circular motions and Gertrude immediately gasped, hips writhing up into his hand.

He lowered his head and buried it in her crotch, licking up and down her clit.

He sucked gently and swirled his tongue over and around as he reached his hand around slide his fingers back into her.

Pressing into her walls, he fucked her with his fingers, licking and sucking at her clit as she moaned wrapping her thighs against his skull, encompassing him in her soft warmth. 

This kept going until he felt her pussy begin to clench around his fingers, mouth sucking at her as she cried out and bucked into his face, riding out her orgasm.

Finally, he leaned back to look at her now very dishevelled appearance, he suppose he probably didn't look any better as she gazed down at his face, covered in her juices.

They kissed one last time, more of a formality than anything, as Gertrude moved onto her side, leaving room for him to settle between her and the back of the couch. 

Once again, encompassed by warmth from all sides, he found he didn’t have the strength to suggest moving to the bed only a room away. 

As he slowly drifted off with Gertrude both enjoying their post-orgasm fatigue, he thought that maybe he ought to break out of his comfort zone more often.

**Author's Note:**

> wow can u believe this is my first fic 
> 
> also spoilers:  
> wrote this pre Tim’s death or u know i woulda have em fuck in the afterlife


End file.
